


Tether Me

by MissScorp



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Love and relationships, Moment of Weakness, No Walkers, Rick paralleling Lori and her relationship with Shane, Temptation, character introspection, fighting wants/needs, hiding an illness, love/touch starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26370478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissScorp/pseuds/MissScorp
Summary: Rick Grimes had no right to think about his own wants and his own needs. Not when he had a son who needed him, who was out there waiting for him, and who he damn sure wasn't going to abandon to this bullsh*t world.For Bad Things Happen Bingo: Hiding an illness
Relationships: Lori Grimes/Rick Grimes
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2
Collections: Bad Things Happen





	Tether Me

She slept like an angel, curled on her side, wrapped up in the blanket he found buried at the bottom of the old trunk in front of the bed.

Rick studied her sleeping form, searching for any hint of the demons she struggled so hard to keep at bay. Twice now he had awoken to her thrashing, moaning, and weeping.

She never explained why.

" _Just bad dreams_ ," she mumbled when he asked about them earlier, cheeks red from embarrassment and shame. " _This world is full of nightmare-inducing stuff._ "

Rick couldn't disagree with her there. This world was a fucked-up cartoon circus world. If he didn't know better, he'd think them in a remake of Romero's classic, _Night of the Living Dead_.

They weren't, though.

This shit world was real.

As was the woman nestled against him.

Raya Kean was as much of an enigma to him as this world.

A million secrets lurked behind her eyes, hinting at there being more to this woman than he imagined. On the outside, Raya seemed as easy to figure out as a ten-piece kids puzzle.

The more Rick got to know her, though, the more he realized how much like a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle she actually was. There were many parts that made up the picture of who — _and what_ , he added silently — she was.

Raya, and her two children, entered his life when he least expected it.

Helped him when he most needed it.

Rick could admit, to himself, anyway, he might have bled to death in the back of that tan sedan if not for the dopey white dog asleep in the room next to theirs.

Krypto's fussing led Christopher — Raya's oldest son — to him.

He, in turn, brought his mother and sister.

Rick quickly found himself embraced by this small, eclectic family. The kids, especially Kai, took to him.

And Raya, much to his shock and dismay, proved more than capable of reading him.

Something Lori, after a decade of marriage, wasn't able to do. Granted, Raya's background in psychology aided her in figuring out the difference between his _moody_ silence and his _pissy_ silence.

She also wasn't afraid to call him out on either.

Raya tended to his gunshot wound with sympathy and understanding, something he wouldn't have gotten from Lori. No, she'd have bitched at him for getting shot in the first damn place.

Not that he could totally blame her.

His getting shot _had_ been his fault.

He hadn't paid proper attention, miscounted the number of suspects in the car, not accounted for the possibility of them having a rifle.

_Would things have been different if I had married a woman like Raya?_

That question started plaguing him days ago.

_Would being married to someone who understands how hard being a husband, father, and cop is have been easier?_

At one time, he'd have answered with a firm and decisive _no_.

Pointed out all the good times he and Lori shared, the happiness, the love.

Many of the problems between he and Lori were his fault, after all.

He was a closemouthed son of a bitch. He admitted it. He tended to keep his feelings close to the vest. Hid hurts as if they were an illness. Let things fester until they poisoned his heart and soul.

A part of him, though, a deep and dark part he had suppressed for months started to suspect his marriage had hit the downward slide.

The times when he and Lori hadn't been fighting had become few and far between.

_The final straw came when she accused me of not caring about her and Carl._

A growth formed within him after he stormed out the house. One Rick concealed from everyone, including his best friend because of how shameful that particular cancer was. Waking up alone in the hospital made him see how selfish he had been. He took his being alive as a sign he needed to find Lori and patch things up with her.

Then he met Raya and everything got turned upside down once again.

What's she going to do when I find Lori and Carl?

That question started hounding Rick after his meeting with Jesus or Kenobi. Raya was a strong-willed, highly intelligent, capable woman.

Rick didn't deny that.

She was also ridiculously loyal, deeply passionate, warm, and loving. Things like trust, honor, and respect received the same reverence as some gave their faith. She was even more fanatical about those things than some religious people he knew.

It was those things he admired and respected most about her.

Along with her indomitable will, razor-sharp intellect, and refusal-to-say-die attitude.

All aspects that helped Raya survive the hell their lives had become since this virus swept the planet.

Most people would see the cold, hard reality staring them in the face and take their own lives.

Not Raya.

No, when things got tough, she buckled down, dug deep, and faced the challenges with cool disdain, scorching derision, and a lot more gumption than he initially thought she possessed.

There was nothing weak or cowardly about the woman asleep beside him. She waded into the shit without making a qualm or fuss. She wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty or step up and take responsibility.

Raya admitted when she was wrong.

_She would never say something as vicious and cruel as Lori did in front of Christopher or Rose._

No, she'd lay out the reasons for why she was pissed at him and listen to his explanations.

_And actually hear what I'm saying._

Only to himself did Rick acknowledge the truth he had been trying his best to deny: that he wanted to stay with Raya.

It was an illness he had done his best to hide. He couldn't conceal it any longer, though.

She needed him as much as he needed her.

Wanted him as much as he wanted her.

Not that she'd admit it in words.

No, the woman tended to convey her thoughts through... _moves_.

Smooth, slippery, sneaky, incredibly sexy moves.

They weren't fast, but they were executed so slickly, so silkily, he had no time to prepare, much less mentally defend himself from them.

Part of Rick suspected she used them to keep him from delving deeper into the mystery that was her. He had to admit they served their purpose.

_A little too well..._

However, he also believed those moves were her way of acknowledging her own interest without crossing over that invisible line between them.

She shared his disease.

 _She isn't married, though_ , a voice in the back of his head whispered. _She can be tempted. You can't._

The voice was right.

Rick had no right to think about staying with Raya and her children.

He didn't have a right to start his life over in the northeastern city Raya called home.

He had no right to think about his own wants and his own needs.

Not when he had a son who needed him, who was out there waiting for him, and who he damn sure wasn't going to abandon to this bullshit world.

Part of him — a part that had been dormant for a long time — wanted to curl his body around Raya's sleep-flushed one.

To bury his nose in the hair at her nape and breathe deep of that haunting, exotic scent that was hers, and hers alone.

To fall asleep with her in his arms.

To wake up to those catlike eyes staring down at him.

Those lips curled into that mischievous smile that set his blood to blood to boiling.

_The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it._

So, Rick Grimes, moralistic man he was, gave in.

He folded his arm over Raya, buried his nose in her nape, and dreamed a little dream that'd keep him going in the dark days looming on the horizon.

Of a country road with a tiny farmhouse at the end of it. He walked towards it, hat in one hand, and Carl's in the other. On the porch, waiting for them was a pretty woman with a cloud of dark hair framing her angelic face. A welcoming smile curled her lips as a gurgling baby with bouncing curls and cat-green eyes waved from her hip. Rick swung Carl up into his arms and hurried towards that house.

Towards family.

Towards _home_.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all, and welcome!
> 
> On 9/9/2015, I started a crazy crossover as a birthday present to myself. That story, Days Gone Bye, spawned a trilogy of sorts. It seemed fitting to write a companion scene to that story that parallels the Shane/Lori relationship (which I have always believed started pre-episode 1) against Rick finding himself in a similar moralistic situation with a woman who tempts him.
> 
> Please, if you like this story, kudo/bookmark it!


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